SWEET reunion for ANDY AND STEVE

Yes, they're BACK!

You remember how Steve and Andy once made SWEET music together? It was several generations ago.

Stars of the music movement called "Clam Rock" (critics wished they'd shut their mouths TIGHT and NEVER sing), SWEET became household words around the world, just like "obesity" and "diabetes."

Between 1970 and 1974, they aged four years.

Inspired by "bubble gum rock," they gained a lot of weight eating bubble gum and rocks. They put sugar on everything, even their own faeces. This confused Americans, who thought the word was being spelled wrong. But, as their manager Frank Maloney declared, "let's not be facetious."

While Maloney used all the band's money for a sex change, and got the reputation for being a cunt, the group failed to improve on a few semi-hits, "The Ballroom Blintz" and "Schmucks on the Run," which only increased rumors that they were not only poofters, but Jewish, too.

Brian Connolly, who helped design their ridiculous shimmery condom-like rubber suits, declared, "I for one am NOT a Jew. I'm leaving the band because I'm egotistic, not greedy or cheap!"

That left it to Steve Rabbi (who had changed his name to Steve Priest) and Andy Israeli (who changed his name to Andy Scot).

They disagreed on how much of the pie each should have. So they started to binge, until they developed double chins and breasts.

Said Frank Maloney, "boy am I jealous of how womanly you two are!"

The group recorded one last hit: "Love Looking like Oxen on Gin," removed their girdles and disbanded.

For years, Steve and Andy fought over who could be the most obscure and ugly. Adding "most obese," it was still a toss-up. And that's just what most fans did while looking at them.

However, now that it's off-season in England and seaside resorts are desperate, Miss Maloney (as SHE prefers to be called) has prevailed upon the two surviving fat cunts to come together. If only there's a stage strong enough to support them!