Sunday, October 11, 2015

I CUN'T IMAGINE - Peter Noone of Herman's Armpit offers a stinker of a "Tribute" to John Lennon

Can't you hear my fart beat?

Something tells me I'm into something gooey.

There's a kind of mush all over the world.

WHAT the FUCK. After Lennon was murdered, some asshole wrote lyrics so simple ANYONE could predict the rhymes. This mewling doggerel was put away until it stopped reeking and stinking, and it took over 30 years.

Peter Noone found it, and figured maybe it could be a comeback single if he released it on John's 75th Birthday?

The song's title is very dated. At the time, the hack who wrote it whined "I Can't Imagine..." John being gone. We CAN imagine it because we've lived with it for 35 fucking years. So WHAT is the point of singing it NOW?

The song is loaded with wan rationalizations too stupid to ever be used on a Hallmark condolence card.

Fortunately, NOBODY mentioning John's 75th birthday added, "By the way, that ridiculous bloke from Herman's Hermits issued a tribute song 35 years too late. Go buy it on iTunes."

Yeah, Peter "Hey, I Have a Picture of Me and John and Paul" Noone has to remind people of his connection to the British Invasion and, somehow, Lennon's death.

"Say something nice" about this miserable miasma of musical mush? OK: Peter didn't use his "Herman" voice. He doesn't chirp it like he's got a nose full of nougat. He sings it as mournfully as if he could smell the bad breath of the last hack who used the same studio microphone and spit-screen.

That's as NICE as I get, and I actually liked this guy back in the day. In fact I still appreciate that he can get up and sing those dopey songs with enthusiasm at oldies shows. BUT...you CUN'T IMAGINE how dreary this "tribute" is until you go to YOUTUBE and play it for yourself.

I guarantee, after less than a minute, you'll want to turn it off. Only morbid curiosity kept me going; I wondered if the lines could get any worse, or if the pathetic camera angles would stop obscuring old Peter's face.

Lennon's death is STILL depressing. And now, there's THIS.

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