The slant? How GOO TUBE is a great place to make MILLIONS of dollars.
Yes, YOU TOO can be a GOO TUBE millionaire. Just like you can make millions off Spotify.
So how DO you make a fortune on GOO TUBE?
You guessed it. Appeal to brain-dead brats. Appeal to simple-minded jackasses who like to guffaw while at work, or deadheads who want something on their laptops while they eat their Burger King. And let's not overlook the vast army of school brats who don't pay attention to the teacher and stare at their computer screens...and do it for hours more once they get home.
Here are the TOP FIVE attractions on GOO TUBE:
Fuckin' depressing. WHO but another IDIOT could appeal to such IDIOTS?
It's not like a fairly normal person could cynically feed pap to pigs. Well, there IS Rupert Murdoch, and TMZ's Harvey Levin. There are the Kardashians. Meanwhile...
Right. SOMEHOW if you're very very lucky, you can hit on a retarded topic that MIGHT attract an audience so large, even Google's accountants will have to send you a check worth cashing.
Meanwhile let's not even begin to contemplate the amount of money GOOGLE keeps. They do NOT pay ONE PENNY to the knickerless pains of the world, or the Cuntwell clownettes who only get 200 hits per Goo Tube item. GOO TUBE only pays if you're getting 5,000 or 10,000 hits or more.
This isn't to say that today's regular TV shows are much better. Who needs witless sitcoms, sound-alike adventure shows, ethnic garbage, and the same fucking tits-and-monsters sci-fi crap? Or REALITY SHOWS, SLIMY TOWEL SINGING CONTESTS or SOAP OPERAS.
TV has sucked for a long time, even "critically acclaimed" programming.
Who the FUCK are THESE TWO NINNIES? One's a dowdy ugly housewife who is constantly fretting. Her partner in hilarity is a blonde bimboid cow who pops her eyes every minute. Oh, how FUNNY. They get themselves into SUCH MADCAP scrapes!
Looks like fun? Watching some charwoman scowl, and a stupid cunt grin?
Why did I take these screen caps. And why was I watching?
It was an unfortunate, torturous accident.
I was doing some clean-up, and had a bunch of "what the fuck are these" DVDs that were not labeled. So I had to put them in the player and find out what they were.
To my increasing distraction and irritation, the TV was tuned to a PBS channel that favors blocks of "Britcoms." PBS attracts educated lamebrains, the kind that think watching "Poldark" is as intellectual as reading it. They think it's cultural to show reruns of "Upstairs Downstairs" and add "Downton Abbey." I think we were watching a nature special last night. And now...THIS SHIT.
Ask a PBS viewer who the greatest actress in the world is, and the answer will be: Dame Judi Densch. Ask 'em who the greatest comedy team in history is, and you'll hear: "French and Saunders." With maybe a piping up of "I like Ab Fab!"
So this fucking PBS station was showing this MADDENING garbage of fretting and eye-popping, and I couldn't find the fucking remote to change the fucking channel (no, can't be done just by going to the actual TV set!)
Finally, I had to take a few screen caps, just so that I could try and find out what this horrible show was to make sure I NEVER HAD TO SEE IT AGAIN.
A few days ago I was watching an old British documentary on "The Avengers." Someone eruditely pointed out that the show was "always bright and sunny." It didn't trade on the image of a cold, rainy England. It presented a swinging, colorful Great Britain.
I realized almost all the other successful imports, ones PBS stations constantly re-runs, are stereotypical boring indoors dramas like "Downton Abbey," or utterly stupid Britcoms with comfy leads who are either matronly broads or senile fumphering old men likely to be addressed as "Major." Oh, "Yes Minister," can't get enough of THAT, or that stupid show about the department store.
No, we're sick of Python and "Benny Hill" (both available in endless boxed sets) so PBS runs UNFUNNY shows. THIS is how they view Brits...as baggy old ladies who drink tea, as dour impotent old men with mustaches, as delusional fools, or just plain overweight pests (French, French, can we EVER get rid of DAWN FRENCH...)
How easy it is to be alienated and try and cocoon with some kind of older TV show that still holds up and has actual reward in watching? Wish I could find more of 'em. Most I've already watched too many times. I parse "Avengers" episodes and it'll be ten, twenty years before I again bother with Python or The Prisoner or Fawlty. I do try and download obscure shows I never heard of, hoping to discover a neglected gem. But usually what I get..."Don't Look at the Quality of the Show, Check the Width" or "Only Fools and Horse Heads Would Find Find This Funny" only make me MORE DEPRESSED.
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