Cuntwell, Queen of the Covers

She's making a FORTUNE on FIVERR.

She's gotten dozens of good reviews ("The girl can sing!" "Thank you so much" "Better than expected" "Can I take a photo of you with me if I pay you $20").

So yes, I've splurged and sent Shauna Cuntwell everything in my Paypal account.

She is going to record cover versions of all my favorite female vocalist hits!

Open wide, Shauna!

I will soon be listening to:

Lesley Gore:
It's My Potty And I'll Crap If I Want To

Merrilee Rush:
Just Call Me Angel of the Yawning

Dusty Springfield:
You Don't Have to Say You Love Me (Fist Me With Your Hand)
Twitchin' and Dopin'

Cher:
Bong Bong (My Baby Hit Me With a Clock)
The Bleat Goes On
Gypsy Tramp Sings Cheap

Diana Ross:
My Brain is Empty Without a Clue

Martha Reeves and the Vandellas:
Drooling in the Street

Helen Reddy:
I Don't Know How to Sing Them
Leave Me A Pad (Ruby Red Mess)

The Shangri-La's:
Bleeder of the Crack

Dionne Warwick:
Anyone Who Had to Fart
Do You Know The Way to The Bidet?
This Girl's In Love With Herself

Dixie Cups:
Chapped Lips of Love

Eydie Gorme:
Blame it on the Boston Strangler

The Crystals:
I Do Wrong Wrong

Aretha Franklin:
R-E-C-T-U-M Me

Petula Clark:
Down syndrome
Don't Seep On the Subway

Jeannie C. Riley:
Harper Valley S.T.D.

Mary Hopkin:
No Work All Day

Melanie:
Knickerless in the Rain

Cilla Black:
Step In Shit, Love

Carole King:
So Fart Away
I Feel My Bowels Move (Under My Skirt)
(You Made Me Feel Like) Unnatural Woman

Joan Baez:
The Night I Sucked Old Dicks and Drowned

Sammi Smith:
Help Me Fake It Through the Twat

Lynn Anderson:
I Never Promised You I'd Stop Fartin'

Carly Simon:
That's The Way I Always Heard It Off Key

Joni Mitchell:
Sick, Yellow, Talentless
You Turn Me On I'm Irrational

Janis Joplin:
Me and Bloody Bad Squeaks

Roberta Flack:
The First Time Ever I Wet My Pants

Vicki Lawrence:
The Night The Lights Went Out In My Skull

Bette Midler:
The Boogie Woogie Bug-Eyed Girl Whose Bra Size is B

Olivia Newton-John:
I Honestly Have no Pubes
Hopelessly Devoted To Hull
Have You Never Been Mongoloid?

Janis Ian:
IQ 17

Labelle:
(Wipe up my) Lady Marmalade

Andrea True:
Less Less Less

Rita Coolidge:
My Bra Has Lifted Me Higher

Crystal Gayle:
Don't It Make My Brown Hole Blue

Linda Ronstadt:
It's So Screechy

Melissa Manchester:
For Cryin' Out Loud

Gladys Knight:
Midnight Train to Keadby

Chi Coltrane:
Thunder and Lightning in Barton on Humber