From what I've seen, people who use GO FUND ME are delusional dipshits, con artists, and egomaniacs. That includes self-entitled turds who figure YOU AND I are responsible for their doggy's vet bills, or that we should bail them out when they've fucked up, or we should indulge THEIR dreams when their own relatives won't.
How about a store owner who was always a pompous asshole and is now on GOFUNDME asking YOU to remember the good times, and do him a BIG favor and empty your wallet into HIS pocket?
The guy below ran a photo store.
It could've been a comic book shop, a book & record store, or a novelty joint selling rubber dog shit.
What these places usually have in common is that the owner is smug and self-serving. You walk in and he glares like you're dirt that blew in when the door opened. You never get a greeting. You never get waited on promptly. Your questions are ignored. Your money is taken with contempt and your package left on the counter with a "get outta here" glower.
Can you name the store you really did NOT like to shop in?
For many that list would have OHLINGER at the top.
Jeez, what a fuckin' dump.
Originally on very seedy and low-rent 14th Street, it was one of a pinchy handful of geek shops devoted to selling dupes of movie stills. He had some high priced original posters, but most of the putzes who came in wanted those illegal dupes.
Once in a while somebody (Paramount for "Star Trek" or Columbia for "The Three Stooges") would slap him with a court order. But mostly, he lived under the radar. He had thick looseleaf binders all over the walls that were alphabetized, containing movie star photos in plastic sleeves. In the back, there were manilla folders for individual movie titles.
Hapless nerds would stand at a counter, and mutter their fetish...a movie or a movie star...and one of Jerry's revolving collection of drug addicts and slime worms would go get the file or looseleaf book for you. If you didn't instantly buy five or ten pictures, you'd get slower and slower service.
Meanwhile, Jerry, a short, pudgy wad of crap, lorded over the place like he was a star. He'd hover at the cash register, and smoke an obnoxiously big and stinky cigar. He was there to keep an eye on his loser staff, and sometimes to demonstrate his feeble knowledge by naming a film somebody had forgotten, or correctly identifying whether it was Carol Lynley or Carroll Baker in "Harlow." (Trick question, that).
He was also there to handle anyone coming in to get rid of memorabilia.
Let's say you had 50 or 100 stills you wanted to sell, and a few original posters. He'd give you a baleful glare, shrug, tell you he didn't need your shit, and then offer you $5 in cash, or $10 in trade. IF he was in a good mood.
He wasn't unique, really. He demonstrated the typical obnoxiousness you found at used bookstores and record stores. In a way you could hardly blame him; a low class clod in a business festering with dimwits and fanboy jackasses and only a few "film scholars" (who were utter pretentious twits).
Jerry's competition was a human bowling pin named Ira, who ran a rival "Movie Star" photo shop a few blocks away. Ira was also stupid, far less friendly, his prices a little higher, but the quality a little better, and the store A LOT CLEANER. It wasn't quite so degrading to shop at Ira's literal garage.
Most nerds made sure to hit both stores. There were one or two other places with far less selection and little chance of snapping up an auction or estate sale from affluent Jerry or Ira.
Eventually Jerry moved uptown to 35th Street. Ira? He comfortably SOLD OUT and retired. Meanwhile the Internet and EBAY became the prime places for anyone to buy any movie memorabilia, without having to suffer any indignity. And if you had shit you wanted to get rid of, you could sell it yourself.
Which brings me to THIS obnoxious "you got a lot of nerve" GO FUND ME campaign.
He wants how much? $50,000? Because he stayed in his location too long and was too busy smoking cigars to understand how his business was changing?
The big laugh is that this pudgy bleary-eyed grub is managing a smile. He rarely did when he was at the store, lording over the geeks and his addicts.
Buying movie star photos was NOT a fun experience at either store. The attitude was: "You are spending $5 or $8 or $10 on a dupe photo of some movie star you worship? YOU ARE AN IDIOT GEEK NERD TURD!" And the only thing that changed this is if you were a regular customer and bought a LOT of stuff.
A few people are actually donating, having "nostalgia" for the shop. Well, these are probably the same losers who were at the Chiller convention, and who trudge around Comic Con, and who will tell you what an honor it was to pay $60 to stand next to Abe Vigoda.
These are people who would literally dive for the dog end flicked into the gutter by Connie Stevens.
At this point Jerry and his shop are totally obsolete. You can download pictures off the Internet and print 'em or just keep 'em. You can buy from various dupe photo mills on EBAY. And who the fuck even needs movie stills when you can own virtually every movie ever made? This isn't the 16mm era or the VHS era. Now you can freeze and screen capture any image perfectly.
Imagine the bookstore or record store that was the bane of your existence, and imagine the owner suddenly puckering up with his version of a smile, and hoping you're nostalgic about his crappy domain, and eager to help him out. Ridiculous. At least on Kickstarter you're offered some reward. THIS guy isn't even saying that you'll get a handshake if you come down to his new hovel. He's not saying you'll get even a 5% discount on a purchase of over $100.
Jer' seeing this GO FUND ME campaign was PRICELESS. Meaning, NO DONATION FOR YOU!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.