Dig Deep In Your Fat Wallet, Fat Bill - A Photo with a STAR is expensive at CHILLER

The Halloween-oriented "Chiller Theatre" convention in New Jersey will shock a lot of fans.

Prices are pretty high to pose with B-list and D-list "celebrities."

Barbi Benton? $50?

Robby Benson? $45?

No, I have no idea what the $5 price difference could mean. They're both has-beens. Maybe Barbi is unknown to anyone under 50, and Robby is unknown to anyone under 45.

Some celebrities will no doubt be allowing, for a mere $20 or $30, a photo op at their signing table. Hand over the cash, and scurry around and lean in and give a ridiculous grin.

Here's our pumpkin-like Jerk-o-Lantern, at the Spring convention in April of this year.

Some "stars" put a sign on their table: "NO PHOTOS."

Maybe they don't want harsh flash lighting showing how awful they look. Or, they don't want to suffer being constantly annoyed by blobs hanging over them. Instead, they've signed up with a "PRO" company. In a room on the second floor of the convention, they can devote 15 solid minutes to standing, amid ambient lighting, while "fans" are ordered alongside, given a count of THREE, and then snapped.

Not bad. Even if they split 50-50, they do well. Barbi Benton can glam herself up for 15 minutes a day, right? She'll stand like a statue, someone will be there to make sure the "fan" doesn't cop a squeeze, and the deed is done. It'll average at least $25 a minute. As to the "option" buttons, this is all about scheduling your magic moment in advance. You get to pick the day (the "stars" only do 15 or 30 minutes ONCE a day) and you also pick the option of requesting additional photos at about $15 each. Nice, huh? They run your digital picture through a printer, and if you'd like a back-up copy, bang, part with MORE money.

And what do you ultimately have? You have the joy of showing off a photo and saying, "Well, no, I don't actually KNOW this star. In fact, they even told me not to shake hands, and to just shut up and pose. But I did get to stand NEXT to this star!"

Do you suppose Money Bags Hoobastank will fork over $50 to stand next to Barbi? Or $45 to stand next to Robby? Or will he try and pester them at the table, and risk getting a punch in the face?

Me, I'd pay Bill $50 to let me punch him in the face. Too bad if I did, he would never be able to get up and collect it.