"SAY IT AIN'T SO, BILL."

Americans have been reeling with disappointment over the scandal involving Bill.

Not quite as bad as the British revelations against Rolf Harris and others, Bill has never been accused of being a pedophile. BUT...the rumors of his sexual fetishes have grown and grown.

Once a beloved "older man" who was a fixture at memorabilia shows, Bill is no longer welcome! Though his attorney, Roger Waters, insists, "He has never been charged with a crime, never committed an illegal act, and was never an S.S. guard in World War 2 unfortunately," women keeping coming forward to complain about his past behavior.

These include some well-known stars, who previously were afraid to step forward because they don't walk very well in high heels anymore.

And now? NOW, NBC's "Dateline" show will add even more damaging fuel to Bill's reputation! He may never go to jail, but he also is NEVER going to able to grimace in public again! People are asking his wife, "Why are you standing by this fat idiot? Is it because he has enough retirement income to waste it on silly shit?" She has yet to speak. She's been wearing Bill's dentures!

Here, in today's paper, is the shocking story!

Those who have seen Bill trudge along, in his baggy pants and plaid shirts, his eyes glassy, his teeth set in that inane grin, can't believe he was anything more than a harmless fan.

However, some of the most famous has-beens in show business, coached by ambulance-chaser Gloria Allred herself, are going to be appearing on the show with their damning testimony!

What can be said here except, "Say it ain't so, Bill!" But you know Bill. He just gives that enigmatic, retarded grin.

British viewers will also be tuning in, via illegal downloads on Kickass, to see the testimony of an English favorite.